Keeping Pace

I let my children pace me today.

I'm usually caught up in yesterday or tomorrow, jiggling my anxious legs, and feeling hurried through the mundane and simple tasks of a Thursday with my kids. Meal, play, snack, play, meal, play, snack, play...

But today I followed their lead.

I was with them when they needed to go faster or slower. I gave them autonomy instead of pushing my agenda. I asked them for help with the things I needed to do the same way they asked me for help with the things they couldn't manage, try as they might, to do themselves.

I answered all the questions.

Yes, I like cucumbers. No, I don't like tomatoes. Nobody has proven that unicorns ever existed, but they sure turn up in a lot of stories all around the world. Sure, you can eat the green part of the watermelon but it’s kinda yucky. Yes, I like salad. I don't know why Google doesn't understand that you want it to play the Luigi's Mansion Theme Trap Remix even though it just played it for us 6 times. No, I don't really love Blippi.

I participated in the screaming contest. (I really went for it and made my 4 year old cry, then apologized and convinced her that’s why monsters are so scared of me).

I explained. Sometimes when we’re not brave our siblings can be brave for us. That doesn’t mean they’re better than us, it just means that in that moment, they had courage. On a different day at a different time it’s impossible to know who would be the brave one. More moments will come where we will be the brave one and they’ll need us to help them just like they helped us. We can be brave when we feel brave and ask for help when we don’t.

I made spur of the moment popcorn and I screamed at Wall-E to get to his house so he’d be safe from the dust storm.

I made muffins after playing ‘sink or float’ with our out-of-date eggs. Everyone had a turn: a pour, a stir, a plopping of the mix into the pan.

I followed their lead and they taught me more about being in the moment in a day than I’ve allowed myself to learn for the last ten years.

There are some days as a parent where you literally feel your heart grow.

Today was one of those.